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Steve the King – Canada’s Absolute Monarch

The brand new version of my Harper song, with new verses detailing even more of the crap he’s done to Canada:

KING STEVE

©2014 Marie-Lynn Hammond

ML protest

My all-purpose sign, sadly applicable to so much Harper does

Oh, my name is Stephen Harper and I’ve come here to confess
A secret dream that some of you perhaps might easily guess
For I had great ambitions as a youth so long ago
When I went out west and acted like I wasn’t from Ontario

I wanted to rid Canada of that commie Liberal clique
My God, its stupid social safety net has left us spoiled and weak
So I prorogued and robocalled, I plotted, schemed and planned
Until with 39 percent, my big “majority” I did land

BRIDGE:

And since becoming leader of this nation strong and free
I’ve surgically removed its heart, so now it’s just like me
But all my grand achievements still conceal a bitter sting
for though I’m called prime minister, in my heart I know I’m king!

CHORUS:

I’m sure Jesus wants me to be crowned your sovereign today
And he’s divine and I’m far right, so by divine right I’ll hold sway
I’d make a perfect monarch ‘cuz I do just as I please
and I love to crush democracy—I am your own King Steve

 

I have muzzled all my minions, I am arrogant to all
Except those fat Alberta oilmen who have got me in their thrall
I have helped the rich get richer, and if the poor lack bread,
I figure let them go eat cake, as a dear friend of mine once said

And for too long we’ve kept the peace, it’s way more fun to go to war
though I could do without those veterans, heck, they’re always wanting more
Just like women’s groups and unions, though thanks to me they’re fading fast
And as for our First nations, well on my list they come last!

And though ISIL is our foe, you eco-terrorists are worse!
You want to make us all hug trees while riding bikes – that’s so perverse
But I have laws to track you down and keep you in my sight
I even read your Facebook pages—I know what you did last night!

MLH as King Steve

MLH as King Steve

I’m sure Jesus wants me to be crowned your sovereign today
And he’s divine and I’m far right, so by divine right I’ll hold sway
I’d make a perfect monarch ‘cuz I rule without reprieve
and I love to crush democracy—I am your own King Steve

CODA:

So kneel down and kiss my royal hem, my sceptre and my ring
And while you’re down there kiss my ass—for I am Steve, your king!