Music: Doug Bowes,   Lyrics: M.L. Hammond

there’s a cat on the steps
and I sure could use a lesson from her
she got sly yellow eyes
she got three-coloured crazy-quilt fur
she slinks and creeps, she leaps and she teases
but whatever she does, she does just as she pleases
ooh she’s the calico cat

when she’s feeling lazy,
she just stretches out in the sun
oh but when she’s feeling crazy
she got all the local dogs on the run
she’s lean and mean, she’s a backyard queen
and she looks out for number one
and nobody can break her heart

on those hot summer nights
all the toms come ’round to woo her
but she turns up her nose
’cause they don’t mean a damn thing to her
well she’ll pick them over when she’s in the mood
but when she’s not, look out,
she ain’t afraid to be rude
ooh she’s the calico cat

when she’s feeling lazy… etc.