Music & Lyrics: Marie-Lynn Hammond

oh mothers teach your sons how to cook and how to clean
in the arts of housework educate them
or else your sons poor wives will curse you all their lives
as they labour to housebreak and domesticate them

pass on to them the ancient art of dusting
show them there’s no shame in scrubbing floors
and teach their poor dim eyes to see what we see without trying
spots on glass and fingerprints on doors

so mothers teach your sons how to cook and how to clean
in the arts of housework educate them
or else your sons poor wives will curse you all their lives
as they labour to housebreak and domesticate them

and give them Joy of Cooking for their birthdays
encourage them to make the meals for you
but don’t forget to teach them how to clean up as they’re going
so your kitchen doesn’t end looking like World War Two

oh mothers teach your sons how to cook and how to clean
in the arts of housework educate them
or else your sons poor wives will curse you all their lives
as they labour to housebreak and domesticate them

oh mop and broom and a dustpan
sure look good on a man

teach them when they clean to clean behind things
it’s a concept that they surely will resist
behind the couch, behind the fridge and, yes, behind the toilet —
these are places men don’t even know exist

so mothers teach your sons how to cook and how to clean
in the arts of housework educate them
or else your sons poor wives will curse you all their lives
as they labour to housebreak and domesticate them

oh mop and broom and a dustpan
sure look good on a man
I said mop and broom and a dustpan
sure look good on a man