Music & Lyrics: Marie-Lynn Hammond

Chorus:
science is wonderful
science is grand
but there’s one thing about science
that i don’t understand
they can build a bomb to destroy the world
they can put a man on the moon
but they can’t find one safe and easy way
to keep sperm out of the womb

Mike and Ann were Catholic and they didn’t want any kids
but the church said they had to use rhythm so that is what they did
do you know there’s a name for people who practice rhythm faithfully?
yup—we call ’em parents—now Mike and Ann have a family of three

chorus

Jane and Lynn and Catherine put their faith in the IUD
wasn’t long before all of them were mothers to be
so Catherine got a diaphragm the next time round ’cause she didn’t know what else to do
now Jane and Lynn have one kid each—Catherine has two

chorus

if men could get pregnant, you know what we’d see
birth control research would be bigger than the defence industry
they’ve got a million medical marvels to delay your trip to the tomb
but they can’t find one safe and easy way to keep sperm out of the womb

now I grew up in the sixties and we all went on the pill
till we saw it was making us moody, fat, depressed and ill
the trouble is the fellows all got used to it, they thought it was the norm
now you show a safe* to a sixties man, the poor darling can’t perform!

chorus

* A 1960s term for condom